A Semi Hall-Pass

Scenario 1: 

Shortly after wedding. 

Jane; Honey you forgot to buy the milk again!!.. 

John: Ah sweetie, I’m sorry, I forgot, last night I was so tired.. I will call your office to make sure a hot cup of coffee is waiting for you when you get in. 

Jane: Oh you're such a darling.. I love you so much... (Gives him a big kiss) Oh today is your meeting right? I ironed your shirt and all, wish you all the best, I'll be praying for you!, let me know how it goes.. I gatta run. Love you. Let's pray before I go, 

(They say a quick prayer) 

John: okay darling.. I'll call you. Love you stay safe. 

Scenario 2: 

Say 5 years down the line 

Jane: sheeshh this guy forgot the milk again, what his problem now (now shouting) John you forgot the bleeding milk AGAIN!!! 

John: Jeez, she's started again, Yeah sorry whatever, I’ll call the office and have them sort something for you. 

Jane: Whatever (kmt) don't know why it's so hard to pick up a simple bottle of milk, don’t know what your problem is 

John: this babe please don't start.. Don’t ruin my day... Have you seen the shirt I wanted to wear today?/ 

Jane: How should I know.. I don't know its somewhere.. Check the room. I’m going now. I’ll talk to you later. 

John: (thinking) imagine that, she didn't even remember I had the meeting today.. and can't even say a simple thank you for calling the office for her.. don’t know why she's so bitchy 

Jane: (thinking) This guy is just not even serious. common bottle of milk, he can't buy and asking me where he's shirt is, like I don't have more important things to do.. rubbish.. kmt 

So! 

These are two possible scenarios, one with the couple all buzzed up, second scenario all buzzed up

What happens when y'all get so used to each other. in the hustle and bustle of life, you've forgotten what you too mean to each other and stuff.. everything has gotten boring, so predictable and all that jazz.. irritating even, cos you are all up in each other's space. 

I watched this movie Hall Pass last week... though it wasn't that great a movie, the concept was a rather intriguing one. Basically the hall pass is where the couple have a week off marriage, both of you do whatever the hell you want, oversleep, not cook, watch DVDs, go clubbing with the guys.. and in their case if you feel like sleeping with other people.. sleep with other people. do it. 

I thought it was a good idea, obviously without the sleeping with other people. 

Now before you all get caught up in "oh my goodness.. NEVER!" 

Let's be realistic... there will be days, when you guys are fed up of each other, you will be irritated, you will fight... you need your space, you need to breathe... you need not to see the person, you just want to be.  

I think it would make sense, to just say look I think maybe we should just be, for a while. it's not a fight.. I am not saying we should see other people. I just want to be, I feel under pressure... everything is stressing me out. I still insanely out of my head love you. But I need to understand that I need not to take the guy for granted. I mean... I will eventually at some point.. I will get too used to it, and fall into a rut/routine. For a week, I need a break, I need to go. I WILL come back. Just need to recharge, then come back and face this that is a marriage. 

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, of having a flat or a place.. you guys have a go-to place.. Where the day the couple fight. as in fight... like oh my God I could kill you now fight.. Just go there, blow off steam.. cry, pray, do whatever you need to do. then come back and talk rationally. No one outside your home as to know that you didn't come home. Personally it will save me a lot of stress, I know where he is. I don't have to worry about where he is. I'm the kind of person that if I'm mad at someone.. like really mad. I can't talk to the person or see the person.. I need to get away cos I will get madder and do or say something stupid.. I need to leave that situation. So might as well go to this "go-to place" breathe..pray.. think and calm down.. and then go back and be like okay let's talk about this thing.. I don't know if it’s something people would do, but I have been warned several times by the maternals, that the day you and your husband fight (assuming this husband is a Nigerian) you must never leave the house, because you will come back and meet another woman there, or worse still he will throw your stuff out. 

I was like wow.... so this is the choice.. stay there and kpai (kill) him.. (okay not really) but poisonous resentment builds up.. when I can easily just go away for one or two nights breathe and come back.. and work through it...it’s really not fair. 

I have asked several people what they feel about this ,as it appears that this is not a popular concept.. For the life of me I cannot see why this isn't so... maybe it's just me. I don't know, maybe when I’m married I will feel differently. Someone said to me.. if you truly love the person you wouldn't be able to do without the person for a week.. I said no kidding.. wow... I don't think so oh.. I'm not saying I will not miss the guy oh, but ahn ahn.. that I cannot stay one week without any form of contact (except to check in and see that he’s alive and all is going accordingly) but then again, that's just me.. 

Personally, there are times when things when stuff will happen to you, no one can make it better.. not even the love of your life. it's just you and God.. and even your husband (or wife) being there will worsen the situation cos he's trying to do things to make you feel better.. but he's irritating you even more. and the poor guy is just trying to help. You just need to go away.. vacation.. not necessarily with your girls. just go away and pray.. 

Even the time that the husband is starting to take you for granted.. or wife is starting to take you for granted..  or the man is starting to feel very trapped. 

When he or she is not in the picture you will see what they do and appreciate them for it.. and when you guys get back together you both know you are not doing things just for compulsion, but because you truly love each other. 

As to whether he or she will cheat... well that's one risk that is to be taken. It's a marriage, the possibility of cheating exists.. whether he will or not is not up to you. If they want to cheat, they will do it. if they don't they won't.. That's why it’s better to marry someone who has a sound conscience and has sense.. and has God in him because it's not you he fears.. it's God.. but it's a risk you must be willing to take.. 

It's not guaranteed that it's all smiles and joys if you all get back together, the problem may be worse,  but I believe that during this time you guys can find out what the problem and go to a marriage counsellor (Which I believe in by the way) and try to make it work. 

I don't know this is just me saying this as an unmarried person... I'm still young, I may feel differently when I’m older and married.. but right now at this point in time, I believe in it.. a semi-hall pass.. 

However, if you are planning to settle in Nigeria or live in Nigeria. let's just say it's not something I would recommend for so many reasons. and know the kind of person that you are settling down with, if it's a responsible person you know that won't take advantage it and do something overly stupid.. yeah sure than go ahead.. But if a player and a magnet and a man that can't say no... Best stay in that house. Lol and also the level of trust you two have built with each other... that's important too

That's my 2 Cents... abi What do you think?