Hiyah Guys!
So i've been putting the above numbers up in my status and my BBM statuses, got a couple of people wondering what they are...
So in order to explain what they are... i shall give the explanations below.
Well to be fair these are rules i live by.. like if i forget anything else.. I must not under any circumstances break them or forget them otherwise i'm pretty sure all hell will break lose.
I tend to be someone who gets really angry (a lot of people will not believe this) well the reason why i can be seemingly patient or calm is not because i don't have a quick or irritable temper, but because I do my best to think through it and try and act as rationally as possible. I use it for school work, relationships, family, friendship, and relations with people in general..
I just got to know bout the 10/10/10 rules this year as i got it as a book from my mum last christmas but will basically summarise it.
it's quite long, but very useful i believe... so here goes
90/10 Rule Explanation
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. An exchange of verbal abuse follows. You storm upstairs and angrily change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying in hurt to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
The 10/10/10 Rule as pioneered by Suzy Welch
So i've been putting the above numbers up in my status and my BBM statuses, got a couple of people wondering what they are...
So in order to explain what they are... i shall give the explanations below.
Well to be fair these are rules i live by.. like if i forget anything else.. I must not under any circumstances break them or forget them otherwise i'm pretty sure all hell will break lose.
I tend to be someone who gets really angry (a lot of people will not believe this) well the reason why i can be seemingly patient or calm is not because i don't have a quick or irritable temper, but because I do my best to think through it and try and act as rationally as possible. I use it for school work, relationships, family, friendship, and relations with people in general..
I just got to know bout the 10/10/10 rules this year as i got it as a book from my mum last christmas but will basically summarise it.
it's quite long, but very useful i believe... so here goes
90/10 Rule Explanation
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the
other 90%!
other 90%!
How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you, YOU can control how you react!
Let's use an example. You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup
of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse.
of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. An exchange of verbal abuse follows. You storm upstairs and angrily change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying in hurt to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your wife leaves immediately for work, upset and angry.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to
school. Because you are late, you furiously drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you
arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye.
school. Because you are late, you furiously drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you
arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find damage and hurt in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? All because of how you chose to react in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The honest answer of course, is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds, which was entirely under your control, is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is feeling apologetic and sorry. You gently say with a smile, "It's OK honey, I know you didn't mean it."
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you CHOOSE to react. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your own free will.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret. If someone says something negative about you, let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, ruining relationships, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you loose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? Who cares if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry
about it!
about it!
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over
what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
You now know the 90-10 secret.
incredibly helpful in making decisions though sometimes i find it hard to use...
Here's how it works. Every time I find myself in a situation where there appears to be no solution that will make everyone happy, I ask myself three questions:
What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes?
In 10 months?
And in 10 years?
The answers usually tell me what I need to know not only to make the most reasoned move but to explain my choice to the family members, friends, or coworkers who will feel its impact.
What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes?
In 10 months?
And in 10 years?
The answers usually tell me what I need to know not only to make the most reasoned move but to explain my choice to the family members, friends, or coworkers who will feel its impact.
Example:
The second time I used 10-10-10, the ante was higher. I'd been asked to run a Saturday meeting for the company's executives--a big deal in terms of exposure. Unfortunately, the meeting fell on the same day my son went for his junior black belt in karate, a test that was four grueling years in the making.
Again, I ran through the time frames.
In 10 minutes, both choices stank. My son would be devastated. I could picture his sweet face all screwed up and turning pink as he fought back tears; he was the kind of kid who got sad, not mad. My boss obviously wouldn't cry, but her disappointment would surely be palpable.
In 10 months, I figured, the pain would be buried. Why? Because I would shovel frantically to make it so. If I attended the off-site, I would love my son extravagantly in the months that followed, spoil him with my attention, and apologize until he could stand it no more. If I didn't go, I would pull the same kind of performance at work, with my boss at the receiving end.
But 10 years ... there was the problem. My kids would be gone and my career at full-throttle, whether I had gotten one promotion or not. But on some visceral level, my son would still know that I had chosen to miss one of the seminal events of his life for my own advancement.
That was damage I could never undo.
So I skipped the off-site. And late that Saturday afternoon, I cheered as my son received his black belt, his face pink as he tried to hold back tears.
Again, I ran through the time frames.
In 10 minutes, both choices stank. My son would be devastated. I could picture his sweet face all screwed up and turning pink as he fought back tears; he was the kind of kid who got sad, not mad. My boss obviously wouldn't cry, but her disappointment would surely be palpable.
In 10 months, I figured, the pain would be buried. Why? Because I would shovel frantically to make it so. If I attended the off-site, I would love my son extravagantly in the months that followed, spoil him with my attention, and apologize until he could stand it no more. If I didn't go, I would pull the same kind of performance at work, with my boss at the receiving end.
But 10 years ... there was the problem. My kids would be gone and my career at full-throttle, whether I had gotten one promotion or not. But on some visceral level, my son would still know that I had chosen to miss one of the seminal events of his life for my own advancement.
That was damage I could never undo.
So I skipped the off-site. And late that Saturday afternoon, I cheered as my son received his black belt, his face pink as he tried to hold back tears.
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